Online dating for a serious relationship

The design decision

Swipe apps are built to keep you swiping. AnnaBrides is built to get you out of the gallery and into one conversation. The main unit is a letter — as long as you like, with no timer — and the paid actions are the ones that move a conversation forward: sending a letter, live chat, a video call, a gift. Nothing is charged for browsing, reading or waiting, so there is no reason to hurry and no reward for writing to fifty people at once.

What "serious" means on the profiles

Every profile has a section, in the woman's own words, on what she is looking for. Read it. Most say some version of the same thing — a partner, a family, a calm life with one person — and many say plainly what they are not looking for. Taking that at face value, and saying just as plainly what you want, is the fastest filter there is. It is also free.

Members who want one relationship

A serious relationship dating site is only as serious as the people on it. Among the women here, a large share write in the "looking for" section of their profile that a lasting relationship and a family are the aim, and many say so in the first line; we report that as what they wrote, not as a fact about anyone's nationality. Among the men, the profiles that get answers say something equally plain about the life on offer — where you live, what your week looks like, and how much of it you could actually share. Nobody is matched by the site on the strength of any of this. It simply means that when you write that you want something lasting rather than a pen pal, you are unlikely to be the only one in the conversation who thinks so.

What it asks of you

• A real profile. A recent photograph and a few honest lines about the life you would like to share. She is deciding whether to answer.
• Letters that ask something. A letter that only describes you gives her nothing to reply to.
• Patience with distance and language. Kyiv is seven hours ahead of New York, and her English may be slower than yours. Both are manageable; neither is instant.
• Video before plans. Several calls, not one, before anybody books a ticket.

How to tell if it is going somewhere

Within a few weeks a real conversation has a shape: she answers what you asked, she asks things back, the letters refer to earlier letters, and a video call is not a problem. A conversation that stays at the level of compliments, that never answers a plain question, or in which a call is always impossible is telling you something — usually not that she is a scammer, just that it is not going anywhere, and your credits are better spent elsewhere. The dating safety guide covers the cases where it is worse than that.

Age, and being past forty

Most men here are over forty, many over fifty, and a good number are here after a divorce or a loss. About one woman in four on the site is over forty as well, and about sixty are over fifty. There is nothing to apologise for in either direction; say what your life is like now and what you would like it to be. Two of our guides are written for exactly this point: one for men starting again after fifty, one on when and how to begin after a divorce. The search page lets you set an age range, and profiles say what each woman is hoping for in a partner's age in her own words.

What it costs, and what it does not

Joining, browsing and reading letters are free. You buy credits when you decide to write, once, with no subscription and nothing that renews. Prices are on the pricing page, and the mechanics of letters, chat and video are on the how it works page.